I heard that if you stop caring, all that you’ve wanted will come naturally. Yet in the same token I’ve heard the opposite. I’m naturally inclined to fight for what I want but lately I’ve been realizing that in some ways my fighting has been in vain.
It makes me feel horrible and inadequate. Sometimes I tell myself that I don’t have a problem and that it’s you, but I obviously do and it’s an issue that I can’t seem to control. It’s just that I’m still in love with you and I’m afraid that emotionally you’ll slip away if I don’t say something but I also feel that if I say something, I could end up pushing you away… So what do I do? I want you, and I’m thankful for what I have but I want you fully.
You mean so much too me. I feel so pathetic and in a way I’m a masochist. My best bet is to just let things slide, let nature run it’s course but why am I so afraid that you won’t be there? I know that you love me now, but will you love me always?